Last night, I was enjoying my favorite part of the day: when Mama takes me out for my daily bike ride in the park. I look forward to this walk all day while she’s at work and I’m doing my thing.
But on yesterday’s rally, I had a very bad taste in my mouth. (And I know it tastes bad—I’ve eaten my own poop before.) No, no. It was this unique taste that only came from one thing: You damn people shamed me for my body for my pretty bouncy, corgi.
When I saw the two of you approaching me, I thought, “What new friends, oh new friends, new friends, hello, hello!” You were smiling at me and caressing me, and it seemed like our friendship was off to a great start. Then, unfortunately… things took a turn. I went from commenting on how totally cute I was to aiming for my body.
First, she called my legs “stupid.” Now, I used to be really insecure about my little legs, but nowadays, everyone seems to like them, but I’ve found that my legs are what make me special. I’ve even started thinking about getting insured à la Heidi Klum. Especially after that incident, although I didn’t look cute in that cast.
So I can take comments about my legs. I know they kick ass. But then…then she started laughing and pointing at my, to put it in your words, “funny little corgi butt.”
My face just…well, that’s what I did.
Second, the shape of my butt is in the shape of a “heart,” right? This is where love comes from. And what’s better than love (besides treats)? Also, I’ve got what humans like to call “junk in the trunk.” Sometimes my mom gets on all fours on the yoga mat and raises her legs like she’s a pee dog boy…all so she can make her booty look rounder. I don’t even have to lift my legs like a boy! My sheep is of course. J. Lu, eat your heart out! Finally, I have a lot of followers on Instagram, and you know which shots get the most likes? You guessed it – that #corgimomo parameter. Listen, ladies, I don’t know if you were raised by wolves or cats or something, but I’m writing this letter to let you know that it’s not okay to make fun of anyone. It really hurt my feelings and made me so insecure when we visited the dog run, I could barely focus on the neck of the Dachshund I was nibbling on.
But as I looked at the setting sunshine over the dog’s trash can in the distance, I realized that some ignorant mortal could not shake my pride in my award. Sure, my butt is round and thin, but it’s not “funny.” she’s perfect.
So the next time you want to shame a dog, remember that what makes us different makes us special. Imagine a world without psychedelic faces, without the giant’s mighty legs, or without the slow-motion gifs of Basset Hounds. Who wants that? Image
This BarkPost has been another stinking piece, updated every week!
